I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize