that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
