I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
