he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
