I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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