You're a womanizer and a bitch.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
