He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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