I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
