Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
