I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
