I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
