Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
