So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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