are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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