I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
