I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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