If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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