A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
