his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
