why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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