Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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