he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
