Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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