My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
