i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
