I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
