Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
