I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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