Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
