Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
the day after is always just damage control
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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