Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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