you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize