Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize