just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
