well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
