All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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