Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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