My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My pussy is not your playground.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
