I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
