haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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