if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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