She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
