I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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