He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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