I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
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