i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
