the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
