I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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