Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
