Porn is love you can see.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think I won the penis lottery.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
