Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
