He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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