hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
