just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
