i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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