Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
