Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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