she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Your cock deserves a montage
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
