I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
