My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
