Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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