dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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